


the sanctity of politeness and parking spaces

by Smudge



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, absurdity, and milkshakes, betty has had it, betty's patience being tested, featuring:, jughead is gonna get it, jughead's amusement, parking lot etiquette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15015134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smudge/pseuds/Smudge
Summary: Oh fuck this guyis her first thought about the asshat that just stole her parking space.Or, in other words, parking spaces are sacred.





	the sanctity of politeness and parking spaces

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this for a friend of mine for another fandom and it occurred to us that it also fits Bughead so I reworked it on a dare and here we are. If you recognize it, then we're just gonna be better bros for sharing ships, am I right? 
> 
> But also I'm like 87% sure you can't get yelled at for plagiarizing yourself so we should be good right? I think so.
> 
> I mean, that's what I told myself the year I had two English classes so, you know...nah we're fine. It's fine.

_Oh fuck this guy_ is her first thought about the asshat that just stole her parking space. The one she was waiting politely for, mind you. Because she is a decent human being whereas he is, apparently, not. Sure, that could be an unfair assumption and maybe there's a chance he feeds orphans in his spare time, but by stealing her parking space that she had waited -again,  _politely-_  for she is going to assume it's more like he eats orphans because  _fuck this guy._

She is absolutely going to ignore that that makes her kind of a hypocrite because she is having vicious thoughts about some guy who could, in all reality, be feeding orphans. Or maybe he adopts pandas in the wild, but most likely not because people who save pandas and feed orphans do not  _steal_ parking spaces from innocent women who have been waiting patiently and, once more, politely. She’s made the decision to get out and yell at some guy on his motorcycle before she’s thought it through, though she should probably be wary of yelling at a guy bigger than her, in leather, looking like someone who regularly tells other people to fuck off.

"Hey! You!"

_This isn't a good idea,_  she thinks but no guy on his stupid motorcycle is going to get away with messing with Betty Cooper. Not today.

Looking a little surprised as he turns to the sound of her voice and even though she notices two things as he pulls off his helmet, hair should never look that good when someone is taking off a helmet and eyes like that should be illegal. Rapidly forgetting the reason why she’s mad she summons all of her irritation and reminds herself that just because a man is that  _pretty_  while in leather riding a motorcycle, it doesn’t give them the right to just go through life rudely taking things that aren't theirs. Not that it belongs to her, but she's too mad to deal with  _semantics_  right now. 

"Yeah, you. You know, I was waiting for that spot."

"Excuse me?"

She's pretending she doesn't think there is anything attractive about his voice when he says that, instead telling herself to focus because he  _most likely_ doesn't adopt pandas in the wild and she lets the thought of him laughing at poor sad wild pandas keep her in her state of irritable agitation.

"You heard me, I was waiting politely for that space when you just swooped in with your stupid bike and your stupid face and-"

"I didn't see you waiting," he interrupts her, looking a little confused. 

"Oh  _sure,_ that's believable," she says sarcastically as she gestures to behind her at her car, which is obviously bigger than the motorcycle and therefore, in her mind, makes his reason a stupid excuse.

He's staring at her now and she’s trying not to squirm under his intense gaze but failing because parking space thieves should not be allowed to look like that. It makes concentrating on why she's annoyed incredibly hard. 

"Do you want me to move?"

Well, shit. She didn't think past yelling at him but to be fair, she didn't think when she started yelling at him. Does she want him to move? She hadn't considered that as an option. 

"Uhm, no. I mean, you're already parked and everything so...no," she stutters out as she decides to look anywhere but his face. She didn’t think this through, at all, and now she's sort of yelling at the jerk who is _probably_ not a jerk who stole her parking space and she's flustered because Betty Cooper is a nice girl who doesn't usually run around shouting at people. She thinks maybe she should apologize to him but when she looks up and finds him looking extremely entertained and it just bothers her more.

"What?" she huffs out at him, crossing her arms, agitated.

"What do you mean, what?"

"You're staring at me!"

"You do realize you're the one yelling at me, right?"

"I’m sorry about that part, but that’s what happens when ignore parking lot etiquette."

"Parking lot etiquette?" he asks, leaning back against his motorcycle seemingly in no rush do much other than question her. 

"Of course! There are unspoken rules and one of them is not to take the spot of someone who is  _already waiting for it._ " 

She hears him quietly laugh and sees a small smirk grace his face and she's suddenly a little bit mad all over again. Along with embarrassed and flustered.

"But still, you should at least look around or you're going to take the space of someone who's had a bad day and be on the receiving end of her totally justified but also possibly over dramatic reaction. Or something like that," she mutters at him, while looking around and pulling on a piece of her hair as a distraction.

"So what do you want me to do?"

Oh, this guy is far too amused by this whole interaction. Aside from hoping the ground opens up and swallows her to get away from the predicament she put herself in she doesn't know what she expected to come from the situation.

"I didn't think that far ahead, I just reacted, okay?"

"I can see that."

"Yeah...well, sorry again for yelling at you even though I still think you shouldn't steal parking spots," she says to him and as she turns to walk back to her car, tail tucked firmly between her legs. 

"Wait!" she hears and when she turns around she notices he's fidgeting a little bit which is interesting because the entire time she was talking to him he just stood there looking amused and smirking at her discomfort.

"Yeah?"

"Are you always this impulsive?"

"Sometimes, though it doesn't usually end in me yelling at strangers in public."

"Are you hungry?"

"Are you?" she asks back because if this man is asking to spend more time with her, she may be impulsive but she's certainly not stupid and she'll happily spend more time with this stranger. Oh god, she doesn't even know his name. She's pretty sure he's got a name. Most people do.

"I'm always hungry," he tells her, and it's possibly a trick of the light but she thinks his eyes look a little darker than before. "So, you wanna grab a bite to eat with me?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Mmhmm, I don't even know you. I think I would need to know some things first."

"Like what?"

"You got a name?"

"Jughead. You?"

She can’t help herself as she does a double take at that. “Jughead?”

“The real thing is worse, trust me,” he tells her with a grin. “You gonna tell me your name or do you want me to guess?”

“Betty Cooper.”

"You know, you can find out even more of these things while we eat."

"That’s true, I suppose. Unless you're about to kill me in the woods-"

He laughs at her, shaking his head. "I am not going to kill you in the woods. And even if I wanted to, I can only imagine the lecture you'd give me over murdering in the woods etiquette." Meeting her eye, he smiles at her. "Is there murdering in the woods etiquette?" 

She thinks about it like it's an actual question. "Probably. Knowing my mother, she's the one who came up with it.  _'Elizabeth, you know it's gauche to wear white in the woods, can you imagine what the police would think when they recovered your body?'_ "

He covers his mouth like he's trying not to laugh even more at her before suggesting they go to Pop's and that's how she ends up sitting across from Jughead while drinking a strawberry milkshake, eating onion rings, and getting to know him, aside from his apparent inability to respect the simple act of parking lot etiquette, that is. She finds out where he works, what he does in his free time, that they have a couple family friends in common, and that he also steals onion rings. After having such a bad day it ends on a pretty high note even if she didn't finish her errands and she's still a little embarrassed that she yelled at a total stranger in public for what most people consider a petty reason. It was  _just_  a parking space after all. Not that she was gonna tell him that. Absolutely not.

A couple hours and way too many onion rings later she doesn't want to leave but she cant find an excuse to stay and fighting over the check only takes a couple of minutes and she lets him win for his pride. Sighing internally while he walks her to her car -and for the record, he did let her park first this time- she's trying to figure out how to ask him out because she is a confident woman who should feel no shame in going after what she wants, at least according to her friend Veronica, when he grabs her hand as she's reaching for her door handle and says,"You wanna do this again?"

Stopping short she turns to look at him in surprise. "Seriously?”

"Oh, I'm serious," he tells her in a low voice taking a step closer to her. 

"Yeah, I just have one more question,” she asks, tapping her chin with her forefinger in faux contemplation. 

He smiles at her again, having seemingly been amused by everything she’s done so far since they met. “Yeah? Lay it on me.”

"How do you feel about orphans and pandas?"

**Author's Note:**

> This was...absurd. But, meh, fuck it let's be absurd! If your goal is to go through life without even a little bit of absurdity, well damn, sucks to be you is my thought.
> 
>  
> 
> [If you want, you can come tumble with me here.](https://thetaoofbetty.tumblr.com/)


End file.
